Before I start this review, if you haven’t seen this movie I would advise you to not read any further. I’m going to be very excited and write about huge spoilers. If you don’t know what it’s about (and I highly suggest not finding out – the surprise is really worth it) don’t read further. Please don’t. Just watch it. Don’t look at the IMDb either. They give it away in a sentence. Jerks.
Okay, you have been warned.
I had no idea that this was a vampire movie. I figured, “Oh, it’s a crime action flick with Quentin Tarantino where they say ‘Fuck’ a lot and blow shit up.” Which is what happens in the first half. Then it turns into, “Oh, it’s a crime action flick with Quentin Tarantino where they say ‘Fuck’ a lot and blow shit up, with VAMPIRES.” From the moment Salma Hayek‘s head changed shape my jaw remained dropped for the rest of the film. What the hell? HOW?! There wasn’t any indication that this was going to turn into a monster movie.
Apparently this is a film that has been ruined for people for generations and somehow I, in my 22 years, have never heard anything about it. All I knew was that Robert Rodriguez directed, Quentin Tarantino and George Clooney starred, and there was a lot of gunfire. I mean, that’s all I needed to know to see the darn thing but really? I was completely blown away.
Quentin Tarantino and George Clooney play brothers who are fleeing to the Tex-Mex border to meet a guy who will pay them for their – no you know what? This doesn’t even matter in the end of the film. I mean, this is brilliantly created and Tarantino’s character is a creepy sex offender and he gets his hand blown clean through from a shoot-out at the beginning of the film but I can’t even remember why they went to Mexico in the first place. It doesn’t matter. Vampires.
Is this film worth it? Oh my god, yes. Please make it a personal vow to see it. It’s nothing except entertaining. And besides, you get to see George Clooney kick ass and take names. He just wins all over the place. And he doesn’t need Tiger Blood.